I'll Be Your Man

Must love dogs, well, puppies to be exact. I'm in a totally committed relationship with Toad. I'm in love. I overlook some downfalls. I excuse some poor manners. I accept there are limitations just like every good relationship does. I focus on the good times and lean into the bad ones.

But, because there is a divide between my passions of puppies and my love of Toad, it gets hard. Because Buffer was so amazingly, unbelievably nurturing, the comparisons happen. Past relationship v/s new guy. I accept that Toad will never replace Buffer's work. But holy hannah heck.... you'd think he could at least not be bat crap crazy around the pups!

Toad started off poorly. 

Too enthusiastic. Too vocal. Too fast. 

No focus, no words, no control. 

Every relationship has priority items. With people it can be children, geography or goals. Toad being able to behave reasonably with the babies is a top priority. It's where we've been spending time. By moments, I feel like it will be a dead end in training. Yesterday, we finally had a break through.

With every relationship that's going through a tough time, you negotiate, you talk about it, you plead and yes, in this case, I've been making bargains with all the deities that exist. You know those arguments.... the mental state of "if we can just get through this" ... yeah, that's where Toad and I had been circling. You hope that you can work through it, you fear it will be an "agree to disagree" moment with no resolution, only avoidance.


He and I have been working diligently on baby steps. If you picture this training like a bulls eye target, it will make it easier. On the outside you'll find the "just be in the same room without losing your crap" The center target being, free range (under supervision) with the pups. All the rings in between being the baby steps toward the goal. Rewarding any minor indication of calm, ignoring anything deemed "not calm". Repeat, repeat, repeat. Add food as he became calm enough to eat, repeat repeat repeat. Increase expectations/step toward the bulls eye..... reward looking away... reward no barking, reward reward reward.

We achieved "calm" this week. We made it to being free range (pup in crate, safe). He is completely uninterested. He will approach, calmly and is offering a play bows. He is taking the pups paw in his mouth through the crate bars to the delight of the puppy. Ears in proper position, Tail wagging at a relaxed pace. No vocals.

We are not there yet, but I have renewed hope. 

I just may ask that boy to marry me ;)